But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. – James 1:6
A wave goes up and down, to and fro. This is how we usually experience doubt. We have faith for a moment, and then we don’t. We go back and forth between belief and unbelief.
Faith is delicate, because it often goes against our reason. It just doesn’t make “sense” sometimes. This can make us see faith as believing something that cannot be proved.
Believe it or not, theologians and philosophers have spent lifetimes trying to figure out what “proving something” means. The faith that God asks us to have is not about proving (or not proving), but about trusting. It is confidence in Him because we have a relationship with Him. We don’t have to prove to anyone if we love someone, we just do and we know it. We may show it through loving actions and kinds deeds, but it’s not like we can prove to anyone else how we feel. We know how we feel, but think about what that really says! We can never prove it to anyone else, but we know.
This is why we go up and down, and to and fro, like those waves. We can tell ourselves our faith is in the all-powerful creator of the universe and we don’t have to worry. But perhaps the next moment we wobble a bit because that is a normal part of our emotions.
As we get to know Jesus better, these kind of doubts will get smaller and smaller. We love Him and experience His love, and our trust will grow. Jesus will keep showing us we can rely on him — our faith will get bigger. After all, we only need it to be the size of a tiny mustard seed!